I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

I can't sleep, I'm twitchy (probably from lack of sleep), I just want to cry for no damn reason, and nothing seems to be helping.

I'm serious the whole thing was starting to scare me when I started to want to hurt myself... And I did... (Use imagination)

But anyways... It freaked me out big time... So... My mom took me to a mental health clinic and I stayed there for a few days as the psychiatrist there tried to figure out what pills I should be put on. I don't really believe that the pills will work, but at least all sharp and pointy objects... And stairs were kept out of the area.

-pulls hair-

I JUST WANT TO FREAKING BE LEFT ALONE!!!!!!


Okay... outburst right there... But the truth is I don't want to be left alone. And I don't want people constanty checking if I'm alright, or wondering if I'm going to go crazy and start crying for no reason.

We'll see if I post this or not... Because I have quite a bit to write. Just random ramblings most likely but it's something y'know?

Haven't updated this thing in like forever. The last thing I uploaded isn't even mine... It's just an ID, that maybe I should put in storage or something.

I don't want to go to school.

I kinda don't want to talk to my friends.

My mom is starting to really annoy the hell out of me.

It's just...

GAH!!!

I wish I could understand the damn thoughts going through my head. It's like I've completely lost control, and my emotions are just doing whatever the hell it wants. It's like whenever I try to go to sleep, my head goes on overload over the whole day. I have anxiety attacks, I'm not safe when I leave my head to wander.

Because I go from one problem to the next... Even if it's a good thing!!!

I got accepted into all the schools that I wanted to go to and I want to go to San Luis Obispo... But then I'm thinking, how am I going to pay for it? Am I going to graduate highschool? Will I still be in chior? Will it matter if I suffered from depression?

How the hell will I cope by myself in college when I can't even cope when I'm at home!


It's just so frustrating... And.... -sigh-

I don't know what to do.


I seriously... Just...

I really wish I was stronger.


I really wish I was.




Well... going to post this considering that most likely no one really reads it. And who would want to read my stuff anyways?